In moderating the session, Karolina Silingiene, Co-Founder at Crespect, challenged the familiar end-of-year routine of wine, chocolates and Christmas cards. Her point was simple: clients don’t need another gift — they need to feel heard and properly understood. Silingiene repositioned December as something far more useful than a frantic selling season: a strategic moment to deepen relationships, reflect on what the year has really been like for clients, and set up sharper, more meaningful conversations about what comes next.
The point was further pushed: the value of an adviser is often revealed in the lows as much as the highs—so an end-of-year conversation can be a rare chance to reflect with clients on what worked, what didn’t, and what should change.
Do less in December, make January count
A recurring theme was reducing noise and increasing meaning. Rather than trying to see everyone in the final week, Silingiene suggested being honest about time pressures and scheduling more thoughtful meetings in January—when people are calmer and more open to proper reflection. This isn’t about doing “nothing” in December; it’s about avoiding performative touchpoints and creating space for conversations that lead somewhere.
Listening is the “competitive advantage” (and lawyers talk too much)
The group was candid about a common pattern: lawyers often arrive with an agenda and spend most of the meeting talking—sometimes dressing it up as insight-sharing or “crystal balling” about politics, markets, or legislative change. Silingiene acknowledged prediction-style content can be a useful reason to meet, but warned it can quickly become a trap where lawyers dominate airtime and fail to listen.
The punchline was simple: a genuinely valuable client meeting is designed to produce insight from the client, not a lecture at the client.
Turn conversations into usable intelligence (your system should capture it, not your memory)
One of the most practical takeaways was operational: if a client conversation matters, it must be captured in a way the firm can use—because humans forget. Silingiene stressed that valuable relationship insight often “dies” in notebooks or in someone’s head; instead, it should be recorded, searchable, and actionable.
That includes the small things that make relationships feel human (names, preferences, context) as well as the commercially important things (pain points, strategic goals, hiring plans, internal pressures). Silingiene also described a pragmatic approach to note-taking in live settings: briefly excuse yourself, take a quick note on your phone, and later move it into your system—explaining to the client you’re doing it because you don’t want to forget what matters to them.
Sharing relationship context: from silos to teams
The session highlighted a structural problem: many firms still behave like collections of individual “client owners”, rather than teams. Silingiene described two barriers to better client intelligence:
- Secrecy culture—partners treat relationships and client data as personal property.
- Incentives/KPIs—firms measure billable hours and financials, but not relationship-building touchpoints, debriefs, or client listening.
The consequence is predictable: the firm loses institutional memory, colleagues duplicate mistakes, and clients experience inconsistency.
Client feedback: clients will tell you—if you ask properly
Gannon referenced a statistic they’d seen that only a small minority of firms do structured client listening; Silingiene agreed, and added that even when feedback is gathered, the bigger failure is not embedding the learnings so the firm changes behaviour.
On whether clients hold back: Silingiene’s view was that lawyers worry more than clients do—clients are paying for a service and appreciate being asked what could be improved. An intermediary (such as BD leadership) can sometimes help clients be more direct, but the core message was: try it, and you’ll see it works.
A simple playbook to use immediately
Across the discussion, a practical operating model emerged:
- Choose quality over volume: don’t try to “see everyone”; prioritise the clients that matter most, including those who have complained or given tough feedback.
- Go in with honest intent: clients see through performative outreach; genuine curiosity earns openness.
- Ask better questions: move past small talk and prompt real insight (pressures, plans, risks, team changes).
- Capture and act: create a breadcrumb trail you can follow up on next year, and make it accessible to the wider team.
Closing thought
The final note was deliberately human: the “Christmas gift” clients might actually value is a professional adviser who listens, keeps promises, and follows through—consistently, not just once a year.
